Dear self,
Pain is part of life. It is what makes us human. It makes us flawed and these scars make us unique. Pain can never be ignored, like laughter and love they shape someone to who they should be. For someone like me who cannot forget the past I have come to a realization that I should not let it destroy me. Overcome the pain and don’t let it the pain surmount you. Come on Cate you’ve survived a lot of things and this isn’t the problem that’s going to bring you down. You survived high school and college being ridiculed by people so heartbreak shouldn’t be as tough to overcome. They say when life gives you lemons make lemonade, or when the going gets tough the tough gets going. You will be okay, it might not be right now but in the future you will be. Grieve. For you have lost something but accept it because acceptance can set you free from the baggage you carry. I know how hard it is for you to let go and to move on but you have to. When everything feels like it’s about crumble beneath your feet take cover and protect yourself. Start going easy on yourself, don’t be too harsh. You’re human and you make mistakes, forgive yourself. Meditate on hope until you see the first glimmer of strength to return. Then when you do rise to your feet with confidence fake it if you have to, and know that in each step forward you force yourself to make you will redeem your composure and your strength.
Think of this as a challenge you have to surpass. Sometimes you don’t see the big picture that’s why you need distance and to grow up from old habits and relationships, you’ll get there I know you will. Even the most painful and tragic moments in your life teach you important lessons that you will be using in life. You have to set your mind that even if you feel like everything is falling apart, place yourself in a position where you see that it’s just that the world shakes you a little bit so everything falls into place.
Take every situation as a positive light that can overcast all the shadows that cloud your judgment. If people continue to throw stones at you, place them beneath you where they can make a strong and firm foundation for starting over. Don’t throw the rocks back you’ll just end up hurting others as well.
A lot of people day that the grass is always greener on the other side, you may have not seen the other side yet but you will someday. You just need to be strong and resilient. Wait for the right time, it will come. For now I forgive you for putting yourself to sleep with tears and waking up with no motivation to strive because that’s normal but I hope you find the girl you used to be. She may not be here right now but she’s still you, you just have to find the person you lost.
Till we meet again.
Love,
Cate
